It can be difficult to deal with a birth that does not go quite as planned. These are ways to cope with the loss of your ideal birth.
1. Be prepared. The best thing you can do is to ensure that you have a plan for your birth as well as a backup plan. Present this to your care giver to ensure that they fit this plan as well as the hospital or place you plan to deliver. Hiring a doula can be especially helpful as well. While a doula cannot ensure a certain birth outcome, they can help you feel confident in the decisions you make regarding your birth. Preparation and hiring a doula will help you realize that you did everything in your power before having to veer from your original birth plan.
2. Adopt a regular meditation practice. Meditation does amazing things for your health. Meditation helps support your mental health and as well as your immune system. While it can be integral in ensuring the birth that you wish for it can also help your body and mind heal after birth interventions. Meditation can help you heal in the post partum phase.
3. Accept help. Surround yourself with people who will help with housework, cooking, and your other children. This will allow you optimal time to bond with your baby and focus on yourself when needed. A post partum doula can be extremely helpful in this situation.
4. Find someone to talk to who understands your feelings. Talking about your birth can be healing. Your birth doula can help in this regard, as they witnessed your birth and can help you remember certain details. And a doula (birth or post partum) can be an incredibly good listener and help you sort through your feelings.
5. Seek professional help if need be. If you really feel down and cannot shake the feeling of depression, especially if you feel the need to harm you or your baby, you may need to seek professional help. Know that this is ok and birth trauma is very real.
Your birth is important, it affects the relationship between you and your baby. It affects your health and well being as well as your baby's. Understanding the importance helps you know your feelings surrounding your birth are vital and need to be validated. Never discount the importance of birth.